~~~ Birthday Celebration 09 ~~~

Finally ... I have found some vacant time to write the post about my birthday celebration... ^.* Sorry to keep you guys from waiting hahaha

9th of August ... yeah 9th of August ... the most special day of my life ... the day I was born ... hahaha ... Why am I bullshitting all these ar??? (Pai seh la ... haven't got any ideas yet how to start my post ar :P)

Alright...alright...got it haha...

Few days before my birthday, I had sent text messages to several of my close friends inviting them to celebrate my birthday with me. The venue of the celebration was actually a place I always hang out with my friends i.e. a karaoke (which I spent most of my weekends there ^.*). Then I started to countdown for my big day. Unfortunately, a day or two before my celebration I received a number of text messages turning down my invitation :( Can you imagine how upset I was at that time??? Frankly, LEOs don't like the feeling of disappointment...it makes a LEO questions his/her importance. Bringing with me this displeasure, I awaited my special day to arrive.

Since that's the second Saturday of the month, I had to go to the office (as we work on every second Saturday). Nothing special happened in the morning until my name and several others were being called out. I only found out after a minute or two that those being called out were those celebrating birthday in August. Huhuhu ... so I was lucky enough to had my birthday celebrated with my colleagues during my first week of working there ^.*. Surrounded by birthday song and wishes, we had our cake cutting session. Also, we received a small gift from the HR. I'm really thankful for what they have done.

Then it came the moment I've been waiting for long. Around 9 something I arrived at the karaoke with my dearest friend NINI. Then there were a few more friends joining in and we started to capture our sweetest moment. TENG TENG TENG ... Here are some photos that we've taken on that night.


Time ticked by and finally it's 12 midnight ... WOOHOO ... again birthday song, wishes and gifts showering me........and I.....definitely was the happiest girl in the world at that time ... ^.*

- A summary of my first working week -

Once again, sorry for not updating my blog for more than 1 week. There were so many things to be done last week that made updating my post a mission impossible. So now I'm going to sum up what I've been up for the last few days.

As you all know... I just started to work in a new environment on last Monday. I woke up extremely early that morning ... erm ... arnd 6am to get myself ready for my undertaking. Can you imagine how difficult for someone who didn't wake up as early as that for ages but had to do so starting from that day??? But, what to do??? I don't want to be late for work on my very first day (of course if possible all my forthcoming working days as well :P) so the only thing I can do is to sacrifice my sweet dreams... :'( Overall, my first day reporting to work was quite smooth and happy as the staff there are all very friendly and helpful. Meeting nice staff and new friends there has somehow eased my worry of having workplace politics with colleagues around.

The remaining days of the week unfortunately turned out to be uneven ones for me. I was always the odd one out who faced problems like forgetting to bring important documents, not being enrolled as a lecturer in the e-learning system, not having the chance to meet my mentor (as she took 1 whole week sick leave) and so on. I couldn't let my hair down for the past whole week due to all those unpleasant experience.

Apart from being the odd one out, I also started to feel the mounting stress climbing up my shoulder when we were given briefing on the rules and regulations of the organisation. We are abide by tremendous amount of rules and regulations in order to get a certain thing done. Frankly, I don't see the importance of some rules being set but then again what to do right ... just pray hard I don't break any of them during my probation period :P

All those crazy and unpleasant experience flipped through like pages of a book and it came the weekend which I had been awaiting for. Hahahaha... what's on during my past weekend??? Stay tune to find out in my next post ya... ^.*

~~~ I wish I could ~~~

I wish I could
rewrite the story of ours;
the story of which
descended an air of melancholy on us.

I wish I could
freeze the memory of ours;
the memory of which
was engraved in our hearts since we met.

I wish I could
reconsider the decision of ours;
the decision of which
we made regardless of the consequence.

I wish I could
change the fated destiny of ours;
the destiny of which
was doomed from the very start.

I wish I could ..........
Could I?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't
for I've walked into a trap
which was set by ME MYSELF!!!

~ I Wonder ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder
Why life's full of decision making
Why there always appears
Two seemingly favorable choices
At the same time

I wonder
Why I always struggle in choosing the best choice
Why I still question myself
After I've made up my mind
To choose one choice over another

I wonder
I wonder
I wonder

WHY? WHY? WHY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Got it... finally!!! ~~

Ehem Ehem... let me just clear my throat first before I announce this great news (at least to me myself it is :P) to my beloved readers ^.*.

Teng teh teng (sound effect ^.*) .... Susan will start life anew in August!!!

Meaning???

Some of you may start to scratch your head over this statement I guess... :P

Erm ... basically starting life anew here means I'm gonna take up a full-time job as an English lecturer in this coming August.

What??? Hey, Susan!!! You've been working as an English lecturer for all this while what!!!

Hehehe... you're right but you're also wrong at the same time. It's true that I've been an English lecturer but I've never been a full-time English lecturer what :P So, the oncoming job offer is kinda different from my previous work experience. I'll need to sacrifice my sweet dreams to avoid rush hour in the morning. I'll also need to spend more time at the workplace which I didn't need to when I was only a part-time lecturer. Then, my worst worry is ... I'll need to face the colleagues around for a longer duration (8am - 5pm) whereby conflicts or complicated workplace politics are inevitable. So, summing up... Susan's life is gonna be much different than the one she's had before this.

Anyway, it's great to have something new in life to try for, doesn't it??? Just wish me luck in my undertaking. ^.*

~ O ~

Without you
my life will no longer be
a complete circle.

~Invisible Wound~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Others can only
cut my flesh
even with a sharp blade
but you
are able to
tear my heart out
simply with one harsh word

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bE yOuR dUmMy, Be YoUr DeAr

No matter how smart a woman is
she will become
a dummy
once she's fallen for someone...

She won't care how many times
she cried
for she will only remember how many times
she smiled

She won't care how many times
she's been hurt
for she will only remember how many times
she's been pleased

She won't care how many times
she's been cheated
for she will only remember how many times
she's been promised

She won't care how many times
she's been yelled at
for she will only remember how many times
she's been pampered

She won't care how many times
she's been called a dummy
for she will only remember how many times
she's been called "Dear"

My world = YOU

All I want are just


Your attention
Your backup
Your concern
Your dates
Your emotions
Your future
Your grin
Your hug
Your intimacy
Your jokes
Your kiss
Your love
Your message
Your nurture
Your opinion
Your passion
Your quirk
Your respect
Your smile
Your touch
Your understanding
Your voice
Your world
Your X'mas
Your yes-no
Your zest for me


for my world is solely constructed upon YOU

~~~ Blissful Morning ~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a great thing
to have something
to look forward
the night before
and
wake up in the morning
to get what you longed for


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~ wings of my heart ~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm flying in the air
because you've given me
a pair of wings


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~ What if ~~~

What if
we never got to know each other
would there be any sweet memories filling in the air???

What if
we never started promising each other
would there be any unutterable sadness infusing my mind???

What if
we awakened to find each other gone in our life
would you regret for what you have done and said???

What if
there was not any 'what if' between you and I
would us be the same old selves
when we never existed in each other's life???

Another round of WOW WOW WOW~~~

Looking at the title itself, I'm sure you guys know what I'm gonna talk about...Yup...I'm BACK to the virtual world again...after being invisible for two months long :P

I know I know...I've actually promised one of my buddies that we had to keep track of each other's profile so that none of us would become lazy in writing new posts...and I'm very sorry to say that I've indeed broken the promise between us. BUT...I got a good excuse for that. So please listen up listen up...It's not that I become lazy or what in blogging...It's just that I've terminated my streamyx as a result of moving to a new location (which has got no fixed phone line)...so surfing the net has become a difficulty for me for the past few months. Maybe some of you would say that I could still use the wifi service outside to connect to the tons of society in the virtual world yet I think blogging should be done when no one else is intruding my personal space...only then would I express my real self at ease.

But I guess what has happened doesn't really matter much now because what is going to happen next is much more pivotal. So... what's gonna happen next? Hahaha...I'm gonna fix the promise I've made with my buddy (i.e. constantly updating my blog) as I just bought a new broadband modem which is going to make me available all the time online wahaha...so again...stay tune with me to find out what I've been up to lately...^.*

The sudden clutch of fear...

I'm afraid...
extremely afraid now.
I'm afraid of losing my faith;
I'm afraid of losing my determination;
I'm afraid of losing my soul;
I'm afraid I can't be myself any longer...
There is a deep fear clutching at my heart.........................

Be a good girl...

I've been trying to be bad lately...I did things which were not supposedly to be done by the angelic side of me...still I couldn't help doing them again and again...Oh gosh!!! What's on my mind now? Am I too exhausted of being a good girl for all this while? I wish I'll be able to put an end to whatever that I've done after I have had experience of them. Yeah...there will be an end soon...very very soon...I promised myself not to go overboard...anyhow, I can't really be that bad...someone told me I had to be a good girl...yeah...I will...don't worry. Susan is always and will always be a good girl!!! HAHAHA...

Secretsssssss

Recently I've a lot of secrets to keep.
Who am I having the secrets with???
It's a secret.
When do I start having those secrets???
It's a secret.
Why are they so secretive???
It's a secret.
Last but not least, please don't tell people around that I'm having a lot of secrets k?
Let this be another secret between you and I... ^.*
Shhhhhhhhhhh..................................

~~~~~ WOW ~~~~~

Wow wow wow... it's almost a month since I last updated my blog!! :P Erm...maybe I should explain for my long absence here hehe...

So what have I been up to lately?

There were actually a number of things happened simultaneously which occupied most of my time and thought. First, I was almost worn out handling some personal problems. (Don't ask me what personal problems they were. I mentioned *personal* means they are really PERSONAL lah haha...). Second, I have been attending some job interviews for the past 3 weeks. A positive sign actually though until now I still haven't really made up my mind which company I should go for. Apart from that, I'm glued to singing karaoke with friends at night. I guess that is one way to release my stress. Hence, I went KTV almost 5 nights a week. YEAH...you didn't get me wrong...it's 5 nights a week!!! Wahaha...crazy Susan!!! Tell you what...I'm most probably out singing again tonight ^.*

So, that's all about my recent life. For more updates, please stay tune...kakaka...

I'm SICK!!!

There is something seriously wrong with me:
My head is spinning,
as if I'm in a daze.
My brain is pounding,
as if it's hit by a hammer.
My heart is thumping,
as if it's gonna jump out from my mouth.
I guess I'm sick.
Desperately sick.
It's neither a flu
nor a fever.
It's neither a toothache
nor a stomachache.
It's neither a migraine
nor a back pain.
Oh I'm desperately sick.
I'm overpowered by depression.
I'm suffocated by negativism.
Worst of all,
I'm sick to death of myself.
Oh there is something seriously wrong with me!!!

A gaping wound

Behind every deep wound,
there lies a heart-rending story;
the story which the sufferer
wallows in self-pity,
and the story which
moves others deeply to tear.
Every time
the story is retold,
the old wound
is forcibly opened up.
Then a gut-wrenching sight
meets your eyes.
A pool of blood
is gushing out of the wound.
Gosh!!!
you scream hysterically inside you.
You wish to help;
you wish to soothe the pain away;
yet there is no way
to stop the blood from flowing.
Standing aghast,
you wonder when the blood
will begin to coagulate.
There is no end in sight.
No end in sight.
The wound is now
too contiguous that
it has developed into
a self-inflicted wound.
And this
makes it the saddest story of all.

~ Sunshine, Raindrops, Rainbow ~

Thank you for all you've done for me,
Without you there would not be me.
Your sun shines with care always,
To shelter me from any scares.

Thank you for all you've done for me,
Without you there would not be me.
Your rain pours in tender drops,
To shower my whole world with hopes.

Thank you for all you've done for me,
Without you there would not be me.
With sunshine and raindrops you make me a rainbow,
And transform my world into glittering gold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This poem was spontaneously created sometimes in August last year. Since I drew my inspiration from my mum's unconditional love, I'd like to dedicate it to my one and only beloved mum for her oncoming birthday.